The Static Site Adventure

Welcome, hero!

I am writing this letter to you at 2:47 AM because I have a very important mission for you!

I need you to defeat the demon king! (I bet you predicted that when I called you hero!)

...

What? I know what you're saying.

You're just a lowly visitor wasting time on this weird website that has JaPNaA repeated a bunch of times?

You're completely unfit, have few friends, have low vision, and have no motivation?!

Stop making excuses!

You're the ONLY person visiting this website! You're the ONLY person who can save us from the demon king!

Hugs and kisses,

King Frederick Harrison the Fourth.